It had to happen eventually. Even if in the franchise’s reality-defying world cars never seem to refuel, in real life; utterly ridiculous movie franchises which fail to call it quits when the ovation is loudest can only run so much on the fumes of past successes before they descend into ultra-annoying ignominy.

Truth be told; the Fast & the Furious franchise should have ended two sequels back. It pretty much reached its peak speed with 2011’s Fast Five. …

So, here’s the part of the storyline of Zack Snyder’s Army of the Dead that took some brainpower to put together.

A military convoy transporting a special cargo from Area 51 gets into a head-on (pun intended) collision with a couple of Vegas newlyweds getting their nuptial freak on on the highway to hell, literally.

The accident unleashes on Sin City a zombie apocalypse that eventually quarantines it within a wall of stacked containers.

Left with no choice, the Government resolves to tactically nuke Vegas to prevent the zombie apocalypse from spreading.

But before the bomb drops, a greedy casino…

The late Nigerian filmmaker, Eddie Ugbomah, once famously claimed that he got Eddie Murphy to apologize when he pointed out to him the denigrating portrayal of Africa/Africans in 1988’s Coming to America.

Judging from how incredibly denigrating the stereotypes in the sequel, Coming 2 America are, suffice it to say that Murphy’s alleged apology to Ugbomah was as heartfelt as any attempt in this sequel to subvert Hollywood’s age-long stereotype misrepresentation of Africa/Africans in movies.

In Hollywood movies, Africa is always depicted with shots of the Serengeti with loin-clothed Africans spotting face paint and wielding spears cavorting with hordes of…

So, it’s Valentine’s day in the middle of a resurging pandemic, and Netflix and chill offers Namaste Wahala, an Indo-Naija rom-com, as an alternative to going out to the cinema and possibly doing the tango with COVID-19.

A directorial debut by restaurateur turned writer/producer filmmaker, Hamisha Dariyani Ahuja, Namaste Wahala opens with a very impressive and colourful montage of aerial shots of Lagos set to the tune of its Indo-Naija-flavoured titular soundtrack.

In true rom-com style, we see shots of its protagonists prepping to go out for a jog on the beach, and are then treated to a predictably awkward…

Movie Review: Ife

How do you make an LGBTQ movie in a society where a musician reportedly gets investigated by the police for featuring a married woman is his music video?

Or in an industry where LGBTQ themes in movies are typically portrayed as demonic influences resolved by prayer interventions?

With both the society, industry and film certification agency vocally against it, you say "fuck it, I'll tell my story".

Writer/Director, Uyaiedu Ikpe-Etim chose the short-film genre to tell an intelligently-written and brilliantly-acted simple story of two young ladies falling in love over a 3-day date.

Ife opens with the…

Quickie Movie Review: Wonder Woman 1984

Since this tedious sequel to 2017’s underwhelming Wonder Woman was essentially about wishes, after the torture of seeing it, here are my wishes:

I wish all we had were the potentials Wonder Woman’s cameo in Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice promised and not the disappointments that were eventually delivered.

I wish Wonder Woman was never made.

I wish even more that Wonder Woman 1984 was never made.

If another sequel is being contemplated as Lynda Carter's mid-end credit teaser suggests, then I really wish Marvel Studios some how acquires the rights to the Wonder Woman franchise and makes the next installment.

On the plus side; Gal Gadot still is an extremely sexy woman. 3/10.

The Good

Impressive cinematography. Given the movie’s theme, the cinematography captures people and places in fitting surrealism so that the audience’s attention remains focused on the movie’s theme. There is no distracting glamour. Just gritty, sweaty and hard-hitting unglazed reality.

The golden oldies classic highlife soundtrack takes you on a nostalgic ride back to 70s/80s Nigeria when life and music were much simpler and uncomplicated. We had good (scratch that, make that great) music back then.

Sharon Ooja impresses as the titular protagonist, an undercover journalist posing as a prostitute to investigate a sex trafficking cartel.

Omoni Oboli also impresses…

Ten years after publishing his critically acclaimed debut novel, Tomorrow Died Yesterday, Chimeka Garricks chose the medium of short story for his sophomore effort in A Broken People’s Playlist (ABPP).

The Author’s Note explains the birth process of ABPP, a collection of a dozen short stories inspired by and named after songs that inspired them and told mostly from POV narrations.

The first sentence of the first story, Love Stars, instantly lures you in like the seductive rhythm of a love song. …

This is probably my favourite Sylvester Stallone movie (Copland being second). This John Landis-directed comedy was panned by critics when it was released back in 1991.

But I loved it from the opening Figaro sequence.
The opening scene with a dying Kirk Douglas as Sly’s Snaps Provolone’s father was hilarious and set the tone for the entire movie.

The ensemble cast ensured the movie remained a riotous series of comic gags from start to finish.
Chaz Palminteri was hilarious as the bodyguard who goes teary over a love story.
Tim Curry was comic gold as the clueless dialiectician. …

The E-book, You Mad? Bake Cake (YMBC), couldn’t have come out at a more auspicious time. Released on the first day into the half-way mark of a year that has left the world reeling from the delirium of extreme existential challenges ranging from a global pandemic to global protests sparked off by the gruesome murder of a black man by the police in America.

Closer home, a series of gruesome rape murders and the expected mansplaining from the usual suspects coupled with the unraveling of shocking rape stories on Twitter unwittingly heralded the entrance of YMBC into the social discourse…

Esosa Omo-Usoh

Lawyer, movie reviewer, music lover, one time regular writer of unhappy poems inspired by Rock songs, daydreamer and people watcher… in that order.

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